Peculiarly Kenyan

Michael Joseph didn't realize the quintessential statement he made when he said that Kenyans have peculiar calling habits. He was pretty much massacred by the press, but the statement was immortalized in the Kenyan Quotes Hall of Fame. This blog will be a testimony to the curiously Kenyan habits, smells, tastes and flavours that make this country of ours hilarious at best and annoying at worst.
To begin with, let's look at entering a lift in any building. You stand on the ground floor, waiting for the lift doors to open. Civilization prevails as those around you blankly stare up at the numbers depicting the painstakingly slow descent of the lift. 5, 4, 3....3.....3....3-who the hell is keeping the lift on the 3rd floor for so bloody long??-2, 1...1....1.....arghhhhhh why couldn't that lazy oaf take the stairs one floor down? ahhh finally, ground floor. Lift doors open, all sense of civility vaporizes as the crowd around you pushes and shoves itself into the lift, without waiting for the occupants to empty out. And since you were in the middle of the crowd, you find yourself physically lifted up and into the vestibule, dodging the filthly looks of the visibly irritated occupants trying to extricate themselves out. Oh goodness, somebody left something in the lift, it's a strong distinctly palpable body odour that is almost a living being, an invisible stalker in the corner of the lift that very nearly engulfs you and assaults your nasal passages! Why don't some people use roll on if they know they throw body odour?