Sunday, May 24, 2009

Peculiarly Kenyan

Michael Joseph didn't realize the quintessential statement he made when he said that Kenyans have peculiar calling habits. He was pretty much massacred by the press, but the statement was immortalized in the Kenyan Quotes Hall of Fame. This blog will be a testimony to the curiously Kenyan habits, smells, tastes and flavours that make this country of ours hilarious at best and annoying at worst.
To begin with, let's look at entering a lift in any building. You stand on the ground floor, waiting for the lift doors to open. Civilization prevails as those around you blankly stare up at the numbers depicting the painstakingly slow descent of the lift. 5, 4, 3....3.....3....3-who the hell is keeping the lift on the 3rd floor for so bloody long??-2, 1...1....1.....arghhhhhh why couldn't that lazy oaf take the stairs one floor down? ahhh finally, ground floor. Lift doors open, all sense of civility vaporizes as the crowd around you pushes and shoves itself into the lift, without waiting for the occupants to empty out. And since you were in the middle of the crowd, you find yourself physically lifted up and into the vestibule, dodging the filthly looks of the visibly irritated occupants trying to extricate themselves out. Oh goodness, somebody left something in the lift, it's a strong distinctly palpable body odour that is almost a living being, an invisible stalker in the corner of the lift that very nearly engulfs you and assaults your nasal passages! Why don't some people use roll on if they know they throw body odour?


  1. I like with all yours posting, information which you give will become inspiration for all bloggers, greeting recognize
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  2. Funny,

    yes i recall being carried forward by those going in and being pushed back by those going out.

    And hence our success in rugby sevens. considering that office buildings are quite civilized. Now the mad dash for public transport on a rainy day or when there is scarcity of transport, that is the stuff that brings out the best.

  3. u r dead funny! From ur perspective, humour is everywhere on our kenyan streets. I jus need to bookmark this blog... Too hilarious o_0

  4. I am so excited to have bumped into your blog so soon after venturing into blogging myself. You have such an awesome sense of humour and a masterful delivery of things that irk or amuse us Kenyans on the streets daily. I will be greatly honoured to continue reading from you.

  5. @ Rox...asante this space

  6. have a car parking shade installed in kenya by /