Friday, June 18, 2010
This is the madness that is Nairobi. I head out to jog at 6:30 a.m. last Saturday morning, when all (in) sane Kenyans are snugly ensconced in their Raymond blankets. Lo and behold, I find this chap parked in the middle of the road, completely blacked out. WTF? Clearly the fight between racing home to black out or simply blacking out in the middle of the race was won by the latter team. What was even funnier was watching other early morning drivers gingerly manoeuvring their cars around the offending vehicle and then clicking their tongues when they realized the driver was not only inside the car, but very very clearly blacked out! Now how does one articulate the Kenyan click in words......"Nkkkkxxxx"??? Anyhu, come home in the evening after a late night out and lo and behold, a few metres from the morning fiasco is a guy who has also parked his car in the very middle of the road ( I think there must be an invisible sign that sober people can't see) and is peeing straight into the culvert on the side of the road - at least he is conscious of the role played by culverts in providing drainage - legs wide apart with the golden arc of his emission providing shuddering relief to a bulging bladder. His eyes were rolled back in their sockets in abject bliss..... a 10 tonne truck could have run him over at that moment and he would still have had a smile on his face.......Memo to self...avoid slugging down the last beer 10 minutes to departure from the bar!